STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
