Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
