if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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