Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
