Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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