member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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