Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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