I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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