My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
