Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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