We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
