please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
