Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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