Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
