from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
