and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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