I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
