That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Holy shit dude........stairs
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
