every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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