Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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