i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
