sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
