When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
