erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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