My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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