Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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