Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
