but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
