i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
