I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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