I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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