Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
