somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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