and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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