Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
