My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
