Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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