I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
