Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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