It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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