guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
