nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
