I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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