am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
