my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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