if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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