I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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