the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i out mim tonsoeep
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