Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
