sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
